Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I would ride that face into the sunset
Randomize
