wat bout pragnant strippers??
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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