White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
