I can't watch pbs sober anymore
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
