Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
