Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
You were trust falling into bushes
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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