she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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