I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
