i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
