Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
