Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
