Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
