with your own penis?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
