can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Randomize
