Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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