I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Randomize
