im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize