At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
