i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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