Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
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