You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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