A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
