Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
you made out with another girl for some wings
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
