shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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