Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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