he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
