OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Randomize
