hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
