so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize
