he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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