He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
