I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
