well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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