Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize