don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Randomize
