I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Randomize
