are you so shy because you have an std?
I could make wine with my vomit
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
