two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
