My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Randomize
