he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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