and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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