My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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