I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
