I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
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