You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
