I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
