I want to have your abortion
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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