Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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