addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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