I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
You work out of a Hotel?
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
