piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
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