just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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