Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Randomize
