Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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