If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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