why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
