Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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