Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize