Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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