A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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