Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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