K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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