The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
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