I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
