Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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