I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
4 words: hood of his car
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
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